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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232132">Steve’s Gonna Need A Bigger Boat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slashify/pseuds/Slashify'>Slashify</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Canon Disabled Character, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Farmer Bucky Barnes, Goat, Halloween, Hard of Hearing Steve Rogers, Himbo Riley, M/M, Meet-Cute, Nurse Steve Rogers, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Riley, War Veteran Sam Wilson, War Veteran Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:42:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,947</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slashify/pseuds/Slashify</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve steps out on the porch, he sees a four-legged shark eating one of the bushes that line the side of the wrap-around porch. He slowly gets closer, and the shark pauses. It lets out a bleat and stares at him before going back to chewing on his shrubbery.</p><p>	"That is a goat." Steve says, all of them staring at it, confused. "There is a goat dressed like a shark eating my yard."</p><p>A Halloween Stucky fic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Riley/Sam Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>166</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Steve’s Gonna Need A Bigger Boat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am not deaf or hard of hearing. I know that sign language often doesn’t directly translate to spoken English. I’ve tried to be sensitive, but please let me know if any of what I’ve written is offensive. Also, Himbo Riley rights.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dude," Clint says, "What's with the shark in your yard?"</p><p>	Steve takes a moment to process this. He'd opened the door expecting trick or treaters. Instead, his neighbors Clint and Natasha stand on his porch dressed as Daryl and Carol from The Walking Dead. Natasha's hair is grey and cut short. Steve can't tell if it's a wig or not, but either way he knows he'd get poked with a plastic knife if he guessed wig. Clint is juggling a handful of suction cup bolts while trying to fit one into his toy crossbow. </p><p>	A plastic cauldron full of candy(all nut-free), fruit snacks, small toys, and dental floss hangs limply from Steve’s hand.</p><p>	"What?"</p><p>	Natasha nods toward the yard with a raised eyebrow. When Steve steps out on the porch, he sees a four-legged shark eating one of the bushes that line the side of the wrap-around porch. He slowly gets closer, and the shark pauses. It lets out a bleat and stares at him before going back to chewing on his shrubbery.</p><p>	"That is a goat." Steve says, all of them staring at it, confused. "There is a goat dressed like a shark eating my yard."</p><p>	Nat takes the cauldron from him and sets it on the small table on the porch. She has the highest tolerance for weird shit out of all of them. </p><p>	Steve lives in a neighborhood halfway between the downtown area and the suburbs. He's pretty sure the nearest farm is at least an hour away by car. He keeps staring at the goat-shark. Nat starts moving the chairs around the table so they can watch it.</p><p>	“Is that okay for it to eat?” Steve asks.</p><p>	“That’s just Bay Laurel, right?” Natasha says.</p><p>	Steve has no idea how she knows that just by looking, but he nods. She assures him it’s fine. He doesn’t know how she knows what is okay for goats to eat, but it’s Nat, so he trusts her.</p><p>	"Should we try to wrangle it? I don't want it wandering into the street and getting hit by a car." Clint, ever the animal lover, has set his crossbow down and pulled a length of rope from somewhere.</p><p>	"Nah," Nat says, "It seems pretty happy where it is. Let's just keep an eye on it. We're all pretty quick. I think we can get it if it looks like it's getting too close to the street."</p><p>	Steve grabs some beers and a bowl of gluten-free pretzels from the kitchen and considers turning off the porch light, but decides against it. He loves seeing the kids in their costumes. With the exception of a few impatient parents, everyone seems pretty happy on Halloween.</p><p>	The three of them sit on the porch watching shark-goat and handing out candy. Some of the kids comment on shark-goat, and Steve warns them to keep their distance. He knows next to nothing about goats, but he does know that animals can be unpredictable.</p><p>	After about twenty minutes, they hear a frantic voice from a few houses up.</p><p>	"Dot! Dottie! Where are you, girl?!"</p><p>	A few minutes later, a man in a Hawaiian shirt rushes into view. He has an orange life preserver around his neck with 'The Orca' painted in bold black. His hair is dark, and long enough that he’s pulled it up into a messy bun. The left sleeve of his ugly Hawaiian shirt is empty, shredded, and spattered with fake blood.</p><p>	"Dottie!" He says, a note of relief in his voice. Shark-goat stops gnawing on Steve's greenery and spots the man. It skips over to him, butts its head into his thigh. The man gets a halter onto shark-goat with an ease Steve doesn't think he could manage with two hands and pats her fondly.</p><p>	"You scared me, you silly goat." The man catches sight of the trio on the porch and leads Dottie the shark-goat over to them.</p><p>	"Hey," he says, "sorry about her. Slipped her halter somehow. I'll pay for any damages."</p><p>	Steve is quick to reassure him it's no problem, that they were more concerned about Dottie's safety than his shrubs. Clint introduces himself, Nat, and Steve, and invites him up on the porch for a beer, which he accepts. He tells them his sister and niece had gone on trick or treating without him when Dottie took off. </p><p>	As he comes into the porch light, Steve can't help noticing how attractive he is. He knows he could blend his pastels into the exact shade of this man's eyes. He thinks he'll be drawing him and his ridiculous goat soon enough.</p><p>	If he turns out to be a good guy, Steve might even ask him for his number. He takes a second to be grateful Sam and Riley hadn’t convinced him to go to the party they’d been invited to, and also that Sam wasn’t there. He would know this guy was Steve’s type. He’d definitely try to set them up. Sam wouldn’t be obvious about it, but he would be relentless. Steve knew that if Riley caught on he’d try to help subtly, and Riley was many things, but subtle was not one of them. On the other hand, if that happened they might stop trying to set Steve up with that other soldier Sam and Riley had dragged out of a fire fight in Afghanistan. What was his name? Brown? Bowes? No, Barnes.</p><p>	Mr. Blue Eyes accepts a beer from Natasha after asking Steve if he can tie Dottie up to the porch. Clint helps him when he asks. </p><p>	"I'm Bucky. Thanks for not calling animal control on Dot. She's an escape artist." Bucky raises his beer towards Steve.</p><p>	"She's in costume, in the middle of a residential area. We were pretty sure she wasn't feral." Nat says, casually reaching over to pull a marshmallow candy out of Clint's hand and swap it with a plain chocolate. Clint shrugs and unwraps it. He’ll eat pretty much anything. Considering all the ways Clint could get marshmallow stuck in something, Steve considers it a good call.</p><p>	"She seems pretty chill with all the kids running around tonight." Clint says. Bucky smiles fondly at Dottie where she's grazing on Steve's lawn.</p><p>	"Oh yeah. She's great with kids. You should see her when we go to a school." Steve sees Clint adjusting his hearing aid at that. Steve has partial hearing loss himself, and has to double-check he heard correctly.</p><p>	"You take your goat to schools?" Bucky laughs.</p><p>	"Yeah, I guess that sounds weird. I-"</p><p>	"Barnes? That you?" Sam's voice cuts off Bucky's explanation, followed by: "Oh hey Dottie! Nice costume." from Riley.</p><p>	"Wait," Steve says, "you're Barnes?"</p><p>	"That's me. You been talking about me, Wilson?" He smirks as Sam and Riley have to pause on the porch steps to untangle the wings of their angel costumes. They check the feathers for damage and hop up to sit on the porch railing.</p><p>	“Eh, you know. Swapping stories with my good friend Rogers here.” Barnes’ eyes widen slightly. Steve gets the feeling he wasn’t the only one Sam’s been nagging about them meeting. Barnes looks from Steve’s face down to his red cardigan and huffs out a little chuckle.</p><p>	“Mr. Rogers. I was wondering if that’s just how you dress.” He takes a sip of his beer to conceal his lingering grin. Steve shoves a few pretzels into his mouth. He tries to ignore his friends’ laughter, and Riley’s comment about Steve’s impressive collection of dress slacks.</p><p>	“It was either this or Bob Ross,” Steve says after he’s washed down his pretzels with a healthy swig of his own beer, “didn’t feel like wearing the wig.” Barnes nods his understanding. </p><p>	Steve does not mention that he tends to alternate between those two costumes and has only worn one other one since he got back to the states. He’d let Nat transform him into a werewolf once and made a little boy cry. After that, he’d decided against scary costumes.</p><p>	“What are you guys doing here anyway? I thought you had a big party tonight.” Clint said.</p><p>	“Cops got called already.” Sam shrugged.</p><p>	“Two rival volleyball teams and way too much jungle juice. Also coke, I think. Total shit show, man. You got more beer?” Riley asks, getting down from the railing and heading into Steve’s house when he gets a nod. </p><p>	“The Wilsons save your ass, too?” Barnes asks Steve.</p><p>	“No, I was in Iraq. Met them at the VA a few years back.”</p><p>	“And inflicted them on us.” Clint jokes. Sam flips him off.</p><p>	“Eat me, Barton. We’re goddamn delightful.” Riley returns, handing Sam a beer with a noisy kiss to his cheek.</p><p>	“And what do you do now, Mr. Rogers?” Bucky asks, his smirk doing all sorts of things to Steve.</p><p>	“That’s Nurse Rogers. My ma was a nurse, and I was a medic, so when I got out it just felt right. Don’t know how the hell I managed to get Halloween off the past few years. Halloween around the hospital can get pretty interesting-“ Nat scoffs.</p><p>	“You get Halloween off because the other nurses love you. And they know how much you love Halloween. And volunteering to work other holidays doesn’t hurt.” She levels him with a Look. Clearly he was wrong when he thought she was over him working the night of her Easter dinner. </p><p>	“Really? I thought it was just lucky scheduling-“</p><p>	“Steve, you cover shifts all the time. If your coworkers ever find out your birthday you’re going to cut your annual burn treatment by eighty percent.”</p><p>	“Burn treatment?”</p><p>	“Steve’s birthday is July fourth.”</p><p>	Barnes looks like he’s trying to stifle a grin. </p><p>	‘He’s an idiot wrapped in a moron’  Steve catches Nat signing to Clint.</p><p>	Steve’s surprised when Barnes signs ‘Are you a soldier, too?’ to Clint.</p><p>	‘No,’ Clint signs back, ‘I’m a dog trainer.’</p><p>	“Hey, my sign language still sucks. We should practice more.” Riley says to Sam.</p><p>	“You’ll get it eventually.” Clint tells him.</p><p>	“Training dogs must be a lot of work.”</p><p>	They talk about Clint’s dogs for a bit. Clint brags about Lucky, the one-eyed stray he picked up a year ago. Nat looks on fondly, folding candy wrappers into origami. When Bucky asks about her work she tells him she’s in shipping. She gives a different answer to everyone who asks. Steve’s known her for five years and he still has no idea what she actually does. </p><p>	“You were saying earlier,” Nat shifts the conversation away from herself, “you take Dottie to schools?”</p><p>	“Oh yeah.” Bucky’s face lights up at the mention of his goat. “We get booked for assemblies sometimes. Mostly I take her to talk to 4H and FFA clubs. I give talks about owning a small farm. The business side of things, equipment costs, stuff like that. I do cheese making workshops, and teach about prepping and spinning yarn, too. Farmers Markets are great for us. And I take her to talk to other wounded vets about, you know, finding something when you get out. Not everyone has their Ma’s farm to come home to. It’s about finding something that works, I guess.” He shrugs, trailing off.</p><p>	“Sam, that cheese you had at your hockey party-“</p><p>	“It was the Stanley Cup, you heathen.” Riley butts in. </p><p>	Bucky has a pleased smile on his face. Steve had been buying that cheese every other week since he first tried it. Bucky was responsible for his favorite snack.</p><p>	“You named your cheese Three-Legged Goat?” Steve laughs. Bucky gestures at his empty left sleeve with his beer.</p><p>	“Seemed appropriate.”</p><p>	Steve is definitely getting Bucky Barnes’ phone number. Sam can gloat later.</p>
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